Links of the Week

The New Pornographers, 'Together': This Vancouver indie supergroup is an all-star gathering each time they play, featuring any one of three distinct lead vocals on their songs. Always providing upbeat rock hits, they are upping the ante on this album, adding collaborations from Okkervil River, St. Vincent and Beirut. Link is streaming through its release on May 4th.

Soccer A-rod: Christiano Ronaldo forces himself into the David Beckham void of "talked about European soccer stars in America" campaign by getting himself hooked up with a reality tv star.

Can we call her Booze Asbos?: A 20 year-old British woman accomplished the impressive feat of getting banned from buying or drinking alcohol anywhere in the country. Cue article and accompanying picture of woman with poorly applied makeup drinking white wine straight from the bottle. Apparently the judge was concerned she was acting like a 40 year-old cougar far too early in life.

Fortune Favors the Timid: A famous comic book artist designs a brilliant magazine cover for Fortune 500...and gets rejected. The high resolution version of the cover needs to be explored for all its subversive commentary. There's a ton going on: underwater homes, a bankrupt Greece, helicopters delivering cash from the Treasury to the tops of skyscrapers, a Stocks 'R Bonds Casino, the 401K Cemetery. Just a shame the design won't be making it to print.

Former Baseball Player Talkin' Baseball: Remember Morgan Ensberg? He's got a blog, he writes about baseball in the majors from a player's perspective, and he certainly loves himself some Jeff Bagwell. Anyone that titles his first blog post "Hey YO!" needs to be heard.

One Shining Moment: An interesting concept to organize one giant worldwide simultaneous photograph. Anyone else think "Being Lazy" will outrank the listed general categories?

We're Out of Ideas: Apparently VH-1 has completely given up on developing new television programming and is letting pre-teens create their own shows via text message at slumber parties.

Rain Delay Theater: Enjoy this video from two college baseball teams passing rain delay downtime with humor. Wouldn't it be great if major league baseball required professional players to entertain its fans like this?

How to Sell... (alternate movie title)

Exit Through the Gift Shop, dubbed the "world's first Street Art disaster movie," is the first film by renowned street artist Banksy, whose celebrated and sought-after works now routinely sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars, with select pieces now going in the millions. Banksy's identity has, rather famously, never been revealed, which only adds to the intrigue. True to form, the film was a last minute entry to the Sundance Film Festival, and wasn't listed in either the festival's film schedules nor its catalog. As all things Banksy, the movie instantly became the hottest ticket in town, helped in no small part to the bevy of Banksy originals that appeared throughout Park City during the festival. To illustrate the power of his art, a one foot tall tag of a Banksy rat wearing 3d glasses (right) found on a theater door caused the owner to immediately remove and quarantine the door in hopes of selling the artwork to pay off debts and save the not-for-profit theater.

For those further interested, this feature from Britain's Sunday Times is a fantastic read, complete with a Banksy designed magazine cover (left). While the film does contain footage of Banksy at work, those expecting an expose on the man or his work might leave disappointed. Instead, as the film's release states, "Exit Through the Gift Shop tells the incredible true story of how an eccentric French shop keeper turned documentary maker attempted to locate and befriend Banksy, only to have the artist turn the camera back on its owner – with spectacular results. The film contains exclusive footage of Banksy, Shepard Fairey, Invader and many of the world’s most infamous graffiti artists at work, on walls and in interview. As Banksy describes it, "It’s basically the story of how one man set out to film the un-filmable. And failed."


For those unfamiliar with Banksy's work, it would be worth reading his Wikiality post and taking a look at some of his more infamous controversies, including his work on walls from post-hurricane New Orleans to the separation barrier on the Palestinian West Bank (below) before seeing this film.
The official reviews of the film have been positive, netting a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes, though many critics have questioned whether the film is truly a documentary, or some other derivation of the genre (both prank-umentary and mock-umentary have been mentioned), as conspiracy theories abound. Mahnohla Dargis posited that the film might be a spoof in her New York Times review, while other critics have gone further to allege that the entire endeavor (and the crazy Frenchman himself) was all an intricate prank.

However you view the film, you have to hand it to Banksy and his team of merry marketers. The film premiered in the UK outside a train station in an abandoned tunnel, where a makeshift cinema was built and audience members were presented with tins of spray paint as parting gifts. The official film trailer is below, and release dates in the US can be found on the official website.

Team Coco Before Chanel

Conan O'Brien is now 5 cities into the 32-city Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour and one thing that's been made clear is that he's got a slew of surprise guests lined up for each city. Already, Seth Rogen showed up in Vancouver, Spoon played in Eugene, and Dave Matthews helped wish Conan a happy birthday during his first night in Seattle. Not to be outdone, night #2 in the Emerald City featured Eddie Vedder crashing the gig, playing a three-song set, all of which need to be relived.



Vedder opened with a solo version of Into The Wild’s “Rise” on mandolin, dedicated to Conan O'Brien's wife, who is originally from Seattle:

Vedder's next song was a version of the John Lennon classic "Oh Yoko" on electric ukulele... but with the lyrics "Oh Coco," instead. Sweetly, Vedder asked the crowd to participate as a happy birthday wish to Conan, saying that singing along to the song would be like signing the birthday card to Coco:


Finally, Pearl Jam bandmate Mike Mcready joined Vedder onstage for a kick-ass version of The Who’s “Baba O’Reily,” which simply dominated. Conan's reaction at the end of the clip summed it up pretty well:



It'll be fun to follow the rest of the tour and see who shows up to add to the fun. Needless to say, the slew of surprises so far has got to have the remaining cities geeked to find out who will show up.

Volcanic Lightning

This picture of lightning bolts illuminating the ash pouring out of the Icelandic Eyjafjallajökull volcano is incredible. According to NASA's website, the large ash plume from the eruption was not unparalleled in its abundance, but its location made the ash particularly noticeable because it drifted across such well-populated areas. The Eyjafjallajökull volcano actually erupted twice, once on March 20, and again on April 14. While neither eruption was unusually powerful, the second eruption melted a large amount of glacial ice which then cooled and fragmented lava into gritty glass particles that were carried up with the rising volcanic plume. Somehow this made the mesmerizing bolts of lightning in the ash you see at the end of this video. If you look closely, you can actually see Zeus hiding in the ash during the last 20 seconds of the clip.

Links of the Week

Hold Steady, 'Heaven is Whenever': Linkage tunes from these Brooklyn based rockers with Minnesota roots. Did you know the Hold Steady recorded a a modified version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" to be played during the 7th inning stretch at Minnesota Twins home games? Pretty awesome.

Big Ben defense ≥ Chewbacca defense: I think we have a new front-runner for the lead story in this year's "Worst American Sportswriting of 2010."

MLS attendance numbers will shock and amaze you: Major League Soccer's early 2010 numbers show they have higher average attendance than the NBA and NHL, fueled by the rapid growth in soccer-crazed cities of Toronto, Seattle and Philadelphia, as well as the new Red Bull Arena in New York. This bears watching, especially with this summer's World Cup raising interest and expansion teams opening in Portland and Vancouver the next two seasons.

Introducing your next great sports commissioner: In related news, the NBA would be smart to sign Shane Battier to a front office contract now in order to buy out his free agency years once he's eligible to work for the MLS. A mid-season single elimination tournament to replace the NBA All-Star weekend (think FA Cup in soccer) is a tremendous idea. Dubbing it the "Stern Cup" to placate David Stern's ego shows incredible business savvy.

These sequels could actually be worse than Godfather III: The producer of "Jersey Shore" has had open casting calls for two new shows. "Persian Version" stars outrageous, outspoken and proud hard-partying Persian-Americans in Beverly Hills, while "Wicked Summer" seeks Massachusetts residents who “believe in God, family, the Red Sox and partying!” I think I speak for the rest of the country when I say, "Ugh."

How Bill Walton got his back back: Interesting insight to Bill Walton and how he was on the metaphorical edge of suicide before a new spine surgical technique gave him a new lease on life. Also hidden in the article is the real reason UCLA's 88 game win streak was halted by Notre Dame. I knew there had to be a reason for the win that trumped Digger Phelps' coaching ability.

Most famous people from one show ever?: They could run a "where are they now" feature on the cast from In Living Color every year and it would still seem relevant. Incredible that all these famous people got their start with Keenan Ivory Wayans. Anyone else shocked to learn the show only ran on television for five years?

The Jey-Hey Kid: Give me in-depth articles on Jason Heyward in Sports Illustrated and the New Yorker, or give me deep regret for not drafting him in my keeper fantasy baseball league.

Coachella 2010: The link has some pics of the celebrities attending the festival (including a photo of Kelly Osbourne dressed as an Amy Sedaris character), and the video below of the Jay-Z/ Beyonce duet that was the mainstream highlight of the event. I love how sweet Beyonce looks in her R-rated T-shirt.

And if we wait until the weekend...

We all probably need to listen to LCD Soundsystem's new album now that it is streaming for free on their website. It took James Murphy two years to come up with this record, and songs were leaked online in approximately four web converted nanoseconds (which is actually faster than it takes to read that phrase). So now he's putting it out there for everyone's consumption, and I suppose we should all oblige.

World Cup of Beer

Here are the recently announced 2010 World Beer Cup winners. It's is a great list to peruse for anyone that enjoys a tasty beverage. The World Beer Cup is held every two years, and this year 3,330 beers were entered from 642 breweries in 179 countries. Winning this competition can be a big deal for some favorite microbreweries.

As an added bonus, the founder of the competition (pictured to the right) bears a striking resemblance to Dos Equis' "most interesting man in the world."

Lego Soccer

Chalk it up to German ingenuity to relive Bayern Munich's ousting of Manchester United in the Champions League quarterfinals through legos. We certainly could use more lego replays of this caliber:



Here's Arjen Robben's clinching goal and celebration in real life. The legos do well to capture the moment, don't you think?

Links of the Week

Link Tunes: The XX. These twenty year-olds from South London put out one of the best albums of 2009 and appear on the verge of international stardom, currently on a worldwide tour that will have them playing America's biggest festivals, including SXSW, Bonaroo, Sasquatch and Lollapalooza. Give them a listen, chances are you've already heard some of their music in commercials, anyway.

WAGS to Riches: The World Cup is as much a gift to the world as it is a coming out party for the WAGS (wives and girlfriends) of the world's most famous players. Speaking of soccer, it looks like Malcom Glazer's financial troubles will negatively affect Manchester United's ability to sign top level free agents after the World Cup.

Letterman....zing!: Tiger wasn't the only one getting mocked for his infidelities this past week.

The Upside of Video Games: Two links here. One about how video games provides professional athletes with a simulation of competition during down time. Another about a guy selling an old Atari game he had stored in his garage for over $31,000.

Bury Metal Bats at Wounded Knee: This video is one of the more spectacular baseball plays ever, especially considering that the pitcher left the game with a broken kneecap as a result. Why do college teams play with metal bats again?

Arcade Fire + Spike Jonze = crazy delicious: This short film will undoubtedly cause the indie blogosphere to stand on its asymmetrical haircut, lumberjack bearded head.

Treme: This new series from the creators of "The Wire" looks promising.

An Education: I haven't seen "The Blind Side," but I'd be shocked if Sandra Bullock's performance was somehow better than Carey Mulligan's in this movie. Here's a very interesting article written by the author of the memoir that the movie is based on.

I-gaga: I wonder how many iphones it would take to play "We are the World?"

The Taiwanese Susan Boyle: As a kid I never did figure out how David Copperfield moved Mt. Rushmore or re-aligned the Pyramids of Giza. As an adult, I'll never figure out how Whitney Houston's voice comes out of this kid's mouth when he sings:

Baseball 2010 Season Review (Slogans & Promotions edition)

With opening day now here, the predictions and previews can finally be put to rest. Here's a spin around the league from a different angle. Think of it as your first 2010 baseball season review, focusing on each team's marketing slogans and a favorite promotion at each park. I wish all teams were forced to generate new baseball slogans year after year (some teams don't use them), and the promotional giveaways at the stadiums have only become more creative and popular since the bobblehead craze. I wonder who the ad wizards are that come up with these?

AL West
Texas Rangers
Slogan: "It's Time" Love this slogan, especially considering how versatile the phrase is. Need a base hit with runners on down one? It's Time. Need to make a run for beers in the 7th inning before last call? It's Time. Been holding out on using the bathroom until your favorite hitter takes his cuts? It's Time. Brilliant.
Promotion: Rangers Chest Protector Backpack (August 29). What kid wouldn't want to rock this backpack at school? Well done.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Slogan: "Tradition since 1961" Presumably this slogan ties into the Angels hosting the All-Star game this year. You know what is also a tradition since 1961? Changing the team identity. The 1961 squad was originally known as the Los Angeles Angels, then became the California Angels, then the Anaheim Angels, before finally settling on Arte Moreno's preferred moniker, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (which strangely translates to The The Angels Angels of Anaheim). Aesthetic change is nothing new for Californians, so perhaps the name nips and tucks are an ingrained part of Angels tradition.
Promotion: Hideki Matsui blankie giveaway (April 6). Given Matsui's preferred programming, I shudder to think what he'll likely be doing under his blankie. Eew.

Seattle Mariners
Slogan: "Believe Big"
Promotion: These retro Griffey bobblehead looks great (April 16), but what's up with the Ichiro designed T-shirt (May 1)? You're telling me the same guy that wore these jeans designed and approved that shirt? Dubious at best. Compared to Ichiro's typical fashion, that shirt is just plainful (plain + painful).

Oakland Athletics
Slogan: "Green Collar Baseball"
Promotion: Roy Steele bobblehead (April 17). The A's public address announcer gets rewarded for his years of service. Interestingly, Roy Steele is the older brother of the famed wrestler, George "the Animal" Steele* (*facts may be embellished in an attempt to make A's baseball interesting).

Al Central
Minnesota Twins
Slogan: "Target Field Inagural Season 2010" You gotta love the Midwest. Nowhere else would "pork chop on a stick" be anything but a late night drunken epiphany. Other concession highlights at the Twins new park include cheese curds, cheddar filled bratwursts, beer filled bratwursts, and full fat ice-cream. All this being available in the same place Joe Mauer plays brings only one thing to mind for Minnesotans.
Promotion: Minnie and Paul bobbleheads (July 4). I'm a little confused as to the background story behind Minne and Paul here. Sure, we all know Paul is a saint, but what's up with Minnie's lack of eye contact on the handshake exchange? You too good to look Paul in the eye? The arm extension fools no one, Minnie! You've been jealous of Paul ever since he got sainted, haven't you!?

Detroit Tigers
Slogan: "Always a Tiger" Another way to phrase this slogan would be "we know you're stuck in Detroit, let's all try to make the best of this."
Promotion: Justin Verlander bobblehead with K-counter (April 30). Brilliant addition to the bobblehead. Let's take this a step further, shall we? A Joel Zumaya bobblehead with a MPH reading? Yes. A Jim Leyland bobblehead with a counter for the number of cigarettes hacked post-game in his office? Sure. A Miguel Cabrera bobblehead with breathalyzer showing blood alcohol content? Ok, maybe that one's going too far.

Chicago White Sox
Slogan:"It's Black and White." Oh, is that so, White Sox? Then I'm going to need someone to explain these. That's clearly gray in your jersey! There's always a gray area. Always.
Promotion: Instead of a bobble-head, the Sox are giving away a bobble-hands doll (September 18) in honor of their ground breaking organist, Nancy Faust. Unfortunately, no pictures provided. Given what I know about organist's hands after years of playing, that may be for the best.

Cleveland Indians
Slogan: "Are You in the Tribe?" If I was asked this by someone at an Indians game, I would probably fumble over my answer like the bridge keeper in this clip (skip to the 2 minute mark to start). Is there any way to comfortably answer that question without offending someone?
Promotion: Grady Sizemore Wall Catch (July 24, no pictures provided). Let's hope that the Indians marketing team are referring to the outfield wall and not Grady's facebook wall, which undoubtedly was bombarded with friend requests after he sent these out (NSFW). Incidentally, anyone else find it a little curious that the Indians are hosting "Faith and Family Day" (May 8th) at Progressive Field?

Kansas City Royals
Slogan: "It All Happens Here" I actually thought this slogan would be more appropriate for the Dallas Cowboy's new stadium (NSFW).
Promotion: Royals Jersey Cooler (August 21). I think these jersey beer coozies could be the next big thing in promotional giveaways. Just look at how much better that light domestic lager looks sitting in that jersey. And so little! I feel like I could drink that guy in one gulp.

AL East
New York Yankees
Slogan: "27" Leave it to the Yankees to have a number represent an entire season. Well played, marketing department (gritting teeth). The logo on the website is actually a pretty cool design meshing the pinstripes with the world series trophy.
Promotion: Nothing very exciting here. The Yankees actually charge a $2.99 fee for looking at promotions on their website* (*not true, but someday it probably will be).

Tampa Bay Rays
Slogan: "What's Important Now" (note: acronym spells W.I.N.). This slogan cuts right to the heart of the core Rays fans, namely that their average fan is 85 years old and knows how important now really is. Another perfect reading of the market by the Ray's young front office.
Promotion: Evan Longoria bobblehead (June 27). Is it just me or does Longoria's bobblehead make him look totally busted? He must have really upset someone over at the bobblehead design department. This is doing no favors for Longoria's recent ad campaign starring him as a suave action hero.

Boston Red Sox
Slogan: "The Nation Lives" This slogan reminds me of They Live, one of the more underrated John Carpenter movies. Remember the premise? Roddy Piper (yes, that Roddy Piper) comes across a pair of sunglasses that allow him to see aliens that have disguised themselves as humans in an attempt to fool people while taking over the earth. Likewise, the Red Sox have been disguising their free agent stopgaps (Lackey, Scutaro, Cameron) in an attempt to fool sabermaticians into convincing them they are the missing parts to a Red Sox championship. When oh when is Bill Simmons going to find his alien glasses? Someone has to see through this diabolical plot!
Promotion: No promotions listed.

Baltimore Orioles
Slogan: "This is Birdland" Also heard in Camden Yards when birds are flying overhead: "That is Birdpooh."
Promotion: Replica Brooks Robinson Jersey (July 17). I cannot tell a lie, I wanted to focus on a Matt Wieters promotion simply so I could drop some Matt Wieters Facts (MWF). But that retro Brooks Robinson pullover is pretty sweet. Oh well, I'll link to MWF's anyway. I'll throw my hat into the MWF ring: As Yogi Berra once said, "It ain't over till Matt Wieters swings." Not bad, right?

Toronto Blue Jays
Slogan: "You Belong at the Game" Leave it to the Canadians to tell us where we do and don't belong. America does not work that way and I can belong to whatever I like, thank you very much. That's two old man "hurrumphs" in your general direction, Canada. Don't act like you don't hear me.
Promotion: A Dave Stieb bobblehead (August 29) tops the list. In other words, nothing worth noting here. Better press on.

NL West
Colorado Rockies
Slogan: None.
Promotion: Coors Light cooler bag (June 24). They should double this promotion as Nascar fan appreciation day and allow everyone with a paid ticket to fill up their cooler with as much alcohol as they want to take into the game. Is it widely understood yet that the main reason for Nascar's popularity is its policy to allow fans to bring in as much food and booze as they want? I've been to a Nascar race. Never have I seen so many giant coolers on wheels in my life. It's like drinking in a beer garden watching one of those scoreboard races that come on in between innings, only for hours.

San Francisco Giants
Solgan: "It's Magic Inside" Alright, this one's a layup. Want to know where the magic was? In Tim Lincecum's car as he crossed the border between Oregon and Washington. Magic indeed.
Promotion: Beat LA beach towel (July 30, no picture provided). Why no pictures? This Giants skateboard deck (May 30) isn't bad, either. I'm sure people who skateboard to baseball games would agree with Timmy that there certainly is magic inside.

Los Angeles Dodgers
Slogan: "This is My Town" This was actually the title of Frank McCourt's opposition brief in his ongoing divorce proceedings with his wife. A ton of ink has been written about this already, and there's a legitimate chance that the divorce will necessitate a change in ownership (scroll down to 3rd to last question). That's right Dirty J! Klaw says your Dodgers are being sold, and what Klaw says is the (K)law! Hope you enjoyed all those World Series appearances Manny brought you (wait, they didn't get there? even better!).
Promotion: Matt Kemp action figure (June 3). For most adult males, this picture already made Matt Kemp an action hero. I think it's safe to assume that Kemp's action figure character comes with superhuman grip.

Arizona Diamondbacks
Slogan: None.
Promotion: Mother's Day Designer Tote Bag (May 9). Alright, so it's not really a manly giveaway, but this tote actually looks usable, which is more than you can say for most ballpark giveaways. I would be pay at least $8 for this on the street (in other words, about $3 more than I'd pay to watch Rodrigo Lopez pitch).

San Diego Padres
Slogan: "SD stands for San Diego" Glad we got that cleared up. As it turns out, SD can also stand for a lot of things. Snoop Dog, South Dakota, Steely Dan, Sudan Airways, sexual dysfunction. The Fathers may have opened up a can of SD anger with that slogan (trust me, you do not want to mess with an angry Steely Dan. How terrifying is that picture? That will haunt me in my dreams).
Promotion: Beat LA T-shirts (May 15, no picture provided). How nice of the Giants and the Dodgers to kick the Dodgers when they're down.

NL Central
St. Louis Cardinals
Slogan: N/A
Promotion: Vince Coleman Bobblehead night (July 30). For one reason or another, I always associated Vince Coleman with those SoulGlo ads from Coming to America. Can you believe that Coleman averaged just under 109 stolen bases his first three years in the league? Perhaps more amazingly, he stole 107 bases in 1986 with an OPS of just .581 (yes, .581, that is not a misprint). There's no way a sub .600 OPS sniffs anywhere near 670 at bats nowadays. To top it off, Vince was doing this while mostly playing left field of all places (typically a position reserved for one of the team's best hitters). Vince, I hardly knew ye.

Milwaukee Brewers
Slogan: "I'd rather beer here" Alright, I made that one up, but you have to admit it would totally work for the Brew Crew. The Brewers actually don't have a slogan this year. Bernie Brewer should hang his head in shame.
Promotion: C.C. Sabathia bobblehead (August 29). A lot of people might opt for the Italian sausage bobblehead from the sausage race (August 8), but not me. Just look at this beauty, CC looks like he could eat the Italian, the bratwurst and the chorizo all in one bite. Query: does Sabathia have the least games played for a former team while still active for another while earning a bobblehead without being traded in-season? He has to, right?

Cincinnati Reds
Slogan: "Rediscover your weekend state of mind." This is actually a tie-in with the Cincinnati tourism board, encouraging visitors to catch a Reds game while in town.
Promotion: Singles Night (April 9). The premise of this promotion is simple - you wear your shirt if you're single and hit/get hit on by other singles wearing their shirts. Kudos to the marketing department for scheduling this on a Friday night with the Cubs in town, a fan base well known for both traveling and boozing mightily. I think some Reds fans might rediscover a little more than their weekend state of mind on April 9.

Chicago Cubs
Slogan: "Year 1" So that's where all those Lehman Brother's accountants went! They went from cooking the books on Wall Street to transforming 101 years of failure to just one for the Cubs. Someone needs to inform Tom Ricketts quickly, before he actually pays money for this team. It's also good thing nobody actually watched this movie. Otherwise, the Cubs would probably have a patent infringement suit on its hands.
Promotion: Cubs Old Style knit cap (April 30). Nothing says Chicago Cubs more than Old Style; it's outdated, overpriced, and generally a terrible product. On the other hand, it gets you drunk. That pretty much sums it up right there.

Houston Astros
Slogan: None.
Promotion: Jose Cruz Bobblehead (April 24). The Nolan Ryan Bobblehead (June 19) is pretty fantastic (the tip of the cap is a nice touch), but nothing compares to the neon atrocity that were the old Astros jerseys shown on Cruz here. The stirrup socks detailing round out a pretty fantastic giveaway.

Pittsburgh Pirates
Slogan: "Pride. Passion. Pittsburgh Pirates." That's nice of the Pirates to let us play a familiar childhood game with their slogan. Remember how the song goes? One of these things is not like the other. One of these things is not the same.
Promotion: Established in 1887 Cap (May 7). Great idea, awful execution. You can't fool me, Pirates. There's almost no chance your 1887 squad wore this number, what with it's stitching and color and bendable materials. A quick google search of baseball in 1887, and it's clear what's going on here. The Pirates are being cheap and are yet again denying their fans what they properly deserve. Namely, oversized top hats, just like they were worn in good ole '87. If the fans don't stand up for their rights on this, I just don't know if baseball will ever truly make it back to Steel town.

NL East
Philladelphia Phillies
Slogans: None. Apparently last year's marketing campaign was disapproved in school districts outside of Philly. Who knew?
Promotion: The Phanatic Name and Star T-shirt (April 19) doesn't look too bad. I really like the idea of a Shane Victorino foam finger, though (June 6, no picture). What's cool about that foam finger is that it's going to be in the shape of the shaka sign (fingers folded down, thumb and pinkie extended) in honor of the Flyin' Hawaiian. It will be nice to go a game at the Bank and see Philly fans holding something other than their preferred phinger phormation.

Atlanta Braves
Slogan: "The Excitement of Turner Field"
Promotion: I'm torn between Marching Band Night, Wild West Night, and the Business Fan Special. Ugh. These promotions seem so tedious that part of me wonders whether Atlanta is actually fake posting these promotions as a way of keeping visitors away. What's really going down at Turner Field, anyway? Color me intrigued.

Florida Marlins
Slogan: "Serious Fun. Get in on it!" Serious fun sounds like something a parent would say to convince a kid to go to summer school, or an academic camp, or what a boss would say to sell sensitivity training day to the staff. You're not fooling me, Marlins. Marlins fans would be wise to make sure they get their mandated bathroom breaks and lunch hour off whenever they find themselves at the stadium.
Promotion: Hanley Ramirez .342 batting average NL batting champion necklace (April 9). Nightclubs in Miami should all agree to allow anyone rocking one of these into their establishments for free, no questions asked. Except for Hanley Ramirez, of course. He should be punished for not winning the batting title with a cooler looking number. Would .345 have been so hard? C'mon!

New York Mets
Slogan: "We Believe in Comebacks" Has anyone else witnessed the atrocity that has been Omarion on America's Best Dance Crew? His analysis adds nothing to the show, yet there he is, week after week, reiterating the same points he has come to rely on (American Idol viewers, feel free to use Ellen for this analogy). Anyway, I like to imagine Omar(ion) Minaya relying on this same strategy in his analysis of baseball players: "You know, Gary Matthews, Jr. has an OPS under .700 the last two years, but when you look at him, and you just know he's a baseball player. The kid was born to play baseball. You can throw out every stat in the book, at the end of the day, Gary just gets it done. Look at that one catch he had a couple years back. Can you imagine him roaming around our Citi Field in center? You've convinced me. We better sign him, quick."
Promotion: Home Run Apple (April 5). It has to be bittersweet that the best day to be a Mets fan this year falls on opening day.

Washington Nationals
Slogan: "NatsTown: Get Your Red On" Is it me or is there a little marketing tit-for-tat brewing between Baltimore's Birdland and Washington's NatsTown? I'm not sure who comes out ahead here. On the one hand, Birdland sounds green and close to nature. On the other, NatsTown appears to be run by an autocrat who is hell bent on red clothing for the people, which provides its own curious appeal. It seems that the Steven Strasburg versus Matt Wieters battles over the next decade might have a lot more riding on them than balls and strikes.
Promotion: Fans Choice Bobblehead (August 28). Like the Nationals themselves, there's not a whole lot to get excited about in the promotions department right now. That is until Steven Strasburg gets called up and pitches like everyone anticipates he will. Wouldn't he be a great fit to be a player chosen by fans for this late summer giveaway? Well played, Nats brass. Well played.

Links of the Week

Fang Island: This week's tunage for the links (album streaming on website). Sanguivoriphobics need not fear, Fang Island has nothing to do with this guy. They're some Rhode Island kids making "music for people who like music." I suppose alienating fans of the Insane Clown Posse is one marketing approach that hasn't really been tried yet.

He's not Your Shavin, he's Arshavin: The most entertaining Q&A with an athlete ever recorded. Arshavin could write an entire book based solely on his ranking of animals. Color me intrigued.

Kumar vs. Avatar: This seemed inevitable. Millions to play a stoner in movies, or thousands to grind it out like the rest of us? I like to imagine that Kal was holding out for exactly this script. "I will not leave the White House until you can guarantee me that the movie will be Christmas themed and that I will be able to watch myself in three dimensions! These items are non-negotiable."

Where is Sayid Jarrah when you need him?: Maya Luz explains why she left Project Runway last week. Or more accurately put, Maya Luz doesn't explain why she left Project Runway but talks about it with someone for seven minutes.

Beauty school drop-outs need apply: I love the requirements of the Pirates section of this casting call. Huge nose, lazy eye, grizzled or wrinkled faces? Seems to me the casting agents could round up all the extras they need with one visit to the clubhouse of any golf course in America.

WWJBD?: LWLLJB is the new TFLN.

Ridding the world of Cunth: This preview looks hilarious (birthdate required, just put in anything prior to 1992). I can't wait for the "upper decker" to become all the rage with the popular high school set. Also, is it me or is Val Kilmer slowly morphing into Broken Arrow era John Travolta? If only they could find a way to make this Christmans themed and in 3D:

Reunion-palooza

This year's Lollapalooza lineup was revealed this morning. Headlining the show is a reunited Soundgarden, as well as some of the usual suspects on the big festival circuit. Arcade Fire's inclusion likely confirms the rumors of their new album in 2010. Erykah Baduh is also listed, I wonder if the sweltering Chicago summer will cause her to play in her video suit?

2010's new buzzword: Pavilion

What's that fuzzball a picture of? It's the UK Pavilion at the Shanghai World Expo, set to open on May 1st for six month's time. Wonder what it is? Check this video:


Pretty fancypants presentation there (did anyone else get a flashback to Kubrick's 2001 Space Odyssey?). Expo 2010 Shanghai (the official name, as it's the first Expo focusing on a particular city) is actually going to cost more than the Beijing Olympics, coming in at $4.2 billion. Countries and their industries are pushing hard for a piece of the China pie. Check out some of these amazing pavilion concepts for different countries. It's no surprise corporations are getting in on the act for themselves as well.

The Saudi Arabi Pavilion is the most expensive, set to cost $146M. It's a "moon boat" surrounded by deserts and seas, just like Saudi Arabia. $146 extra large for a moon boat isn't how I'd spend that money, but it sounds appropriate enough. The Saudis have stated there is no budget limit on their pavilion, essentially ensuring they win the category of most expensive. Randomly, this rendering reminds me of an arcology from the old SimCity games.



Not to be outdone, Japan's Pavilion, set to cost $140M, is "a lilac cocoon from high-tech breathable material, populated by violin-playing robots." Violin playing robots!?!?! Uh, ok, I'll bite:



It's shaping up to be an interesting summer for the world's attention. The first World Cup in Africa will occur at the same time as the first World Expo in China (as well as the first to be in a developing country). Based on the money countries are shelling out on their Pavilions, the official tagline for the Expo might be changed from "Better City, Better Life" to "Better Pavilion, Better Business."