Baseball 2011 Season Review (Slogans & Promotions Edition)

Last year's review of major league baseball team slogans remains far and away Sports Hui's most popular contribution to the internet. Now that the 2011 edition is here, it's only a matter of time before AOL comes in with a big offer. Before that happens, here's a roundup of this year's team slogans and the best promotional giveaways, starting out with the AL. As in the past, teams are listed based on my personal predicted order of finish in their divisions.

AL WEST
Texas Rangers
Slogan: "My Texas. My Rangers." In an effort to distance themselves from any bandwagon fans that they picked up in their run to the world series last year, the Rangers have decided to remind everyone that they still play in the one state that will make you hate them. Either that or the marketing department has realized that there is really no reason for anyone not from Texas to visit Arlington.
Promotion: American League Championship Replica Ring. Anyone else picture Nolan Ryan seething over last year's world series loss and crushing one of these to dust with his bare hands? Ryan seems to be getting more ornery watching games in the Texas heat....it's only a matter of time before he puts a bow-tied Ken Rosenthal in a headlock and gives him a Robin Ventura beating after one too many awkward in-game interviews.

Oakland Athletics
Slogan: "Green Collar Baseball" In an effort to ensure that any articles written about the Oakland A's include the words "Billy Beane" and "Moneyball," the A's trot out the same tired slogan from last year. Extra points for only having green collars on the team's 2nd alternate road jersey this year. Well done.
Promotion: The MC Hammer Bobblehead giveaway on 80's Night sounds amazing, though sadly there are no pictures available. In fact, the only bobblehead pictured on the schedule is this one of Ricky Henderson, an admission by the A's front office that even they can no longer name actual players on their own team anymore.



The The Angels Angels of Anaheim
Slogan: "Angles Baseball 50th Anniversary." A team slogan to match the excitement of Anaheim (hint: there's none).  
Promotion: This Kendrys Morales bobblehead comes with both a right and left-handed batting stance to reflect Morales' abilities as a switch hitter. Nice touch. Natural Balance takes advantage of the advertising opportunity by making sure to plaster its brand all over Kendry's broken ankle. Shameless.






Seattle Mariners
Slogan: "Ready to Play." After last year's disastrous "Believe Big" ad campaign, the M's have scaled it down a notch. Part of me wonders if there is a typo with this year's slogan. With Milton Bradley, Jack Cust and Jack Wilson part of the everyday lineup, wouldn't it be more appropriate to replace the "l" with an "r" in that slogan?
Promotion: Ichiro Hit Counter Bobblehead. Love the fact that the Mariners put 4 digits on this one, so we can all count down Ichiro's chase for 3000 hits in the majors (at his current pace, this would happen sometime in 2014). That's a pretty special feat for someone that didn't swing a bat in the big leagues until age 27.




AL CENTRAL
Chicago White Sox
Slogan: "All In." In an effort to capitalize on the soaring popularity of the poker boom, the White Sox are using the card games' most famous catchphrase as this year's slogan. In related news, team owner Jerry Reinsdorf is said to be curious about this new ipod invention, and has also mentioned to insiders that real estate still appears a fail safe investment.
Promotion: Leave it up to Chicago's Southside to have not one, but two Mullet Nights on the schedule. As anyone that has actually witnessed a game at the Cell can attest, mullet night on the Southside is known by the locals as "Friday."



Minnesota Twins
Slogan: "This is Twins Territory." If you were a professional baseball player for the Twins, wouldn't it be impossible to resist saying this slogan just before hooking up with road groupies? Don't pretend Michael Cuddyer hasn't already done this.
Promotion: Bike and Walk to Target Field. Given the health of the general Minneapolis region, this sounds like a terrible idea. I wonder if they'll be serving pork chop on a stick at Target Field on health day? Speaking of pork chop on a stick, if you were a Twins player, wouldn't it be impossible to resist saying this slogan just before...


Detroit Tigers
Slogan: "Who's Your Tiger?" This question is an easy one for the Tiger's star slugger, Miguel Cabrera. His Tiger has always been and always will be the Three Wise Men - Jim (Beam), Jack (Daniels) and Jose (Cuervo).
Promotion: Career Day. In case living in Detroit wasn't enough of a kick in the pants, the Tigers are hosting a Career Day offering students the chance to learn about careers in baseball. Given the horribly depressed economy in the D, this seems like a great idea...if only it weren't for a giant note plastered in the middle of the page that says "Note: This is NOT a job fair." Really, Tigers? It's not enough to take Detroiters money, now you gotta flaunt your fancy baseball jobs in their face? How about you drop Career Day, give people free breadstix and be done with this charade.



Kansas City Royals
Slogan: "Major League Moments." So nice of the Royals to remind their fans that their team is still a qualifying major league franchise, with real, bona-fide major league players on the field. You know, just in case there was any confusion.
Promotion: Ladies Tote Bag. My favorite part about this promotion is that it is given only to the first 10,000 "ladies" at the ballpark. Dressed like Lady Gaga? No tote bag for you, ma'am. You gotta be prim and proper to score one of these.


Cleveland Indians
Slogan: "Join the Tribe." I know what you're thinking, how insensitive of the Indians to continue to exploit this racial epiteth that should have ended long ago. But this is totally legit*, Cleveland is actually working with the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe, and if you attend 15 home games this year you'll be an honorary member (*may not be true).
Promotion: Middle School Grad Night. You know how most cities celebrate and reward students for their high school or college graduations? Apparently Cleveland will take what it can get at this point.

AL EAST

Boston Red Sox
Slogan: "We Won't Rest." Apparently this slogan applies to everyone on the team other than Dennys Reyes, who from the looks of it, clearly doesn't mind a rest every now and always. 
Promotion: None.






New York Yankees
Slogan: None.
Promotion: W. B. Mason Truck Night. Is it just me or does anyone else think handing out 20,000 toy projectiles might be a bad idea in New York, especially if Bartolo Colon takes the mound that day. Did you know that there is a facebook page dedicated to Bartolo Colon looking like Andre the Giant? Somone needs to start up a "Bartolo Colon has a Possee" twitter account quick.




Tampa Bay Rays
Slogan: "Another Way." This slogan could refer to Tampa having to find another way to win the AL East after losing nearly entire bullpen and a number of key regulars. More likely, it's a slogan calling out Bud Selig to get the Rays the hell out of St. Pete and into a decent stadium.
Promotion: The Rays consistently have some of the best ballpark promotions in the game. This year they've got David Price arm sleeves, an Evan Longoria replica gold glove award, a bunch of free post-game concerts (we'll give 'em a pass on Darius Rucker...they are in St. Petersberg, Florida after all). But this DJ Kitty Puppet takes the cake. Backwards hat? Check. Gold cowbell chain? Check. Ability to challenge laser cats? No doubt.

Toronto Blue Jays
Slogan: Hustle and Heart (2.0). Apparently last year's slogan worked so well the Jays decided to bring it back for another round. To me, Hustle and Heart sounds like its two-thirds of the way to being Haggis.
Promotion: Roberto Alomar Hall of Fame bobblehead. The beauty of this bobblehead is that it doubles as a Pez dispenser, you insert the Pez in his helmet and Alomar spits it out his mouth in homage at umpires ala this career defining moment.


Baltimore Orioles
Slogan: "This is Birdland, Our Team is Birdshit.*" (*part of slogan may be embellished for effect).
Promotion: Apparently the Orioles spent all their money this offseason on Vlad Guerrero and Mark Reynolds, as their promotions are crap this year. I'm sure Ebay is eagerly anticipating a slew of rabid bids on those Buck Showalter bobbleheads they're giving out.